Growing Pains?

When I was in 2 grade, I liked a boy. He's name was Roberto, and he was my best friend. I know, I know. Puppy love? Yeah right. I thought he was really nice and he was really sweet. He was the only boy my age that wasn't allergic to girls and didn't think they couldn't play street soccer. He was really cool. However, at that age, as we all know, boys are not interested in girls. Girls mean someone to play with during recess, annoy, and  show superiority over, yadda, yadda, yadda.... But he was better than that in my mind. I know, pathetic. I look back on this and it makes me laugh a little at the thought of liking someone at the age of 7.
He was nice and he was funny, and he hugged girls, which was different from others boys that were "too cool". One day, while eating my sandwich after our usual game of soccer, which was when he was usually in a good mood, I asked him.
I asked him If he wanted to by my boyfriend. Not really knowing what that meant honestly. He looked at me wide-eyed and told me he thought that was yucky and that he only liked me as a friend. I took that to heart, and I was very embarrassed. I blushed so bad, that even in my brown skin, you could still see it crystal clear how embarrassed I was. I think that has been the most embarrassing moment of my life. Rejection, a universal feeling that everyone gets at some point in life. I've paid my dues. Or I wished it worked that way.
But, I'm in high school now. Friends, boys, colleges... I have a feeling that even though we write about these stories, life is not over. There are many things in life to come and that feeling of rejection will come up again in my life.
There are only two things to be absolutely sure of in life: Losing and dying. As depressing as that sounds, it's true. However, we can try to win and get what we want. Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only have one life, so might as well make the best out of it and beat the odds of losing, by risking a little and making a chance. I think that's what life is all about. That's what high school taught me: YOLO. Only... I took it 10 notches higher than what people usually mean when they say that. Haha.

Perhaps I Was Distracted. #3

I was at the front of the store crying. Everything that i ever thought was my life ahead of me, was gone in my mind. I was doomed to be a homeless child, without parents.

When I was a little kid, I was a very distracted little being. I never really payed attention to my actions and I tended to forget of being aware of certain things. Yes, it's no use denying it. I was THAT kid. That kid that always got lost in that awful big department store. Why? Because I loved to hide from my mom in the circular racks of hanged clothes, or look at the pretty shinny stuff locked behind the large glass boxes, or spending too much time in the toys section. 

Honestly, I don't know how moms do it, one second they are right next to you, the next they are looking at stuff from a very far section that makes you want to go "Hello? Mom! Wait up!", and that's when they seem to realize they have a child. 

However, it's always that accomplished feeling that I used to get when I realized I wasn't lost, and that I could easily find my mother on the other side of the store, that made me feel like i was independent and that i could wonder off, and still find her. So, of course, I did. 

First 5 minutes: Yay! Freedom! I'm at the toys, and no one will stop me. Hehe. 

3 minutes later: "Alright... She's still looking at her lame clothes..."

It's been ten minutes since I left her: "Alright. Enough fun. I should go be a responsible child and find my mother. She'll never trust my independence otherwise. I have to be a grown up about it."

Fifteen minutes of separation: As I am walking down the aisles looking slightly to the sides, pretending to act cool, while actually in the inside my heart is pumping hard and I'm having a freak-out, occasionally calling my mom's name in a calm voice.

Twenty minutes of being apart. Hope is dying out. I  was meant to be a foster child. Fate was coming to light: Alright, my mom always said to go to the nearest attendant or police man. "Sir, I can't find my mom..." "Come here little girl.." Gasp! He's a creep. It doesn't matter, I can kick him and run away if anything, he'll never catch me... Wait, but then I would be a criminal for hurting a police man. It's alright. I'll survive as a runaway. Wait. No. I need money. Sigh, I'm going to die in the streets. Life. Over. "Yes sir... Can you help me find her?" "Alright. What's your mommy's name?""Gaby." "Now, now... stop crying... we'll find your mommy, everything will be fine."

"GABY, YOUR DAUGHTER GINA IS LOST, PLEASE COME PICK HER UP AT THE MAIN ENTRANCE. GABY, WE FOUND YOUR DAUGHTER."

 

I wait two minutes, and my mother is at the front of the store. She sees me and gives me a smile and says "I was right next to you the whole time. I just wanted to see what you would do." I wanted to yell at her telling her that I could've ended up being some bum in the streets lonely and starving, but instead I said "Good. I was testing you. I wanted to see if you would come to get me back."

She has no idea. I could've died.